10 Non-School Skills Children Need

Everyone knows that our school system, in general, is not giving our kids the basic reading, writing, ‘rithmatic and science skills needed to be competitive in the high-tech workforce of the upcoming generation (at least, that’s the general assumption, and we won’t argue it here).

But there’s much more to life than those basic subjects, and unless you have an exceptional teacher who is willing to break out of the mold, your child isn’t learning the crucial things he or she needs to learn in life.

These subjects should not be taught by lectures or textbooks. They can only be taught by setting examples, by conversation, by showing, and by allowing the child (or teenager) to do these things on their own (with supervision at first). Once you’ve talked about the skill, showed your child how to do it, and let them do it under supervision a few times, give your child the trust to do it on his own, and to learn from his own mistakes. Check back every now and then to talk about what he’s learned.

Here are a few examples that may help you to evaluate your child's living habits and set early foundation based on balanced values!

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. --Plutarch

Saving- Spend less than you earn. It’s such a simple maxim, and yet very few young adults understand it or know how to follow it. Teach your child from a young age to put part of money he receives or earns in the bank. Teach him how to set a savings goal, and save for it, and then purchase whatever it is he was saving for.

Reading- Sure, we’re taught to read. But schools most often make this boring. Show your child the wonderful imaginative worlds there are out there. And show them how to find out about stuff in the world through the Internet, and how to evaluate what they read for credibility, logic, factualness.

Motivation- Learn that discipline isn’t the key to achieving a goal, but motivation. How to motivate yourself, different strategies, and how great it feels to achieve a goal. Start them with small, easily achievable goals, and let them develop this skill.

Procrastination- It’s a problem we all deal with as adults (and even as kids). Now, I believe that there should be a time for goofing off, being lazy, and having fun. But when there’s something to do that we really need to do, how do we get ourselves to do it? Learn the reasons behind procrastination, and how to address them.

Anti-competition- As kids, we’re taught how to be competitive. In the adult world, that’s how we behave. And that results in back-stabbing, undercutting, feelings of resentment, and other life-affirming things like that. Instead, teach your child how there is room for many people to be successful, and how you’re more likely to be successful if you help others to be successful, and how they’ll help you in return. Learn that making friends and allies is better than making enemies, and how to do that. Learn cooperation and teamwork before competition.

Listening- Are our children taught how to listen in school? Or how to talk at someone. Perhaps that’s why many adults don’t have this critical skill. Learn how to truly listen to someone, to understand what they’re saying, to empathize.

Cleaning- Too many adults grow up without knowing how to do laundry, to clean a house properly, to keep the house clean and uncluttered, to have a weekly and monthly cleaning routine. Teach your child all these things instead of just telling her what to do.

Organization- How to keep paperwork organized, how to keep things in their place, to to keep a to-do list, how to set routines, how to focus on the important tasks.

Be present- For some reason, this extremely important skill is never taught to us when we’re kids. In truth, the younger we are, the more natural this skill is. As we get older, we start thinking about the future and the past, and the present seems to slip away from us. Some skills for living in the present would go a long way.

Enjoy life- Kids don’t have much of a problem with this, but some awareness of its importance and how to do it, even as an adult, would be helpful. Set a good example of this, and your kids will follow.

--by Leo Babauta, Original Story, Aug 28, 2012

The Art Of Learning 

We teach everyone; all the children, give, learn to give and learn to give. But as far as you are concerned, five pennies will not go out of your hand. You will think ten times before you give five penny even to the most wonderful man in the world. Who will take care of me if I give it away? All those good works; some rich man has to pay. Why I should pay? And lot of people who pay, make sure that everybody knows that he has paid something. So the rooms will be named after them or the auditoriums will be named after them or the stadiums will be named after them. Or else, they will not give the money. First they must make sure everybody that knows that you are a Good Samaritan, paying good money. It is found that if you put their name, people give money.

You are trying to put all your energy in trying to look good to be a good citizen, to be an honest man whom you are not. Only you are interested in protecting your property, you are protecting your wife; you are protecting your good status in society. We are always interested in protecting what you have already got. All inquisitiveness, openness, all real things that matters in life is lost.We say I am a student but where is the studentship?

All your knowledge is all what we call dirty water; no more new thing going through; the new thing is possible only if you are courageous enough to let go everything that you had before and be able to take on something new and trust. Until you have total renunciation, wisdom cannot be present.

"Only people with total renunciation can be true leaders, 

                                                       can be true inspirers can be true learners."

LIVING IN SATYA

Actually there is nothing to learn, being truthful and open to everything is the first thing. If you are daring enough to be truthful, you don’t have to learn anything. You don’t have to go on sitting in a place because you are always learning when you are in the state of absolute truthfulness. All the learning will come to you automatically.

Admitting and accepting your present state gives newer possibilities of learning. With honesty and truthfulness something beautiful will happen out of it.

STATE OF ZERO IDENTITY

Your learning ability really comes out of you being nobody. Childlike-ness is the prerequisite for learn-ability. Because you are no stake to what come you have learnt before and out of total renunciation within that you catch new ideas, new concepts much more easily and open.

LEARNING & SANYAS

As soon as you start asserting your rights and knowingness everybody will leave you. You start with- I don’t know where I am, everybody will say you come here, we will take care of you. Experience not being bound by these securities and rele only on god’s favor and be childlike and then see what happens.

NON POSSESSIVENESS

Under this paradigm of newer possible richness, you can still have property but your owner ship of that will disappear. Then you will find that wherever you go everything is available. To be able to take up a new idea, the requirement is you must be able to let go the previous idea. As if you are a new born child baby entered into the world, now you start your adventure. You go and be the messenger of God, naked, that’s it.

                                                   - By Guruji Shri Rishi Prabhakar

How to Develop Scholars of National Importance for the Country?

So far IIT’s and IIM’s were the creators and training grounds for the most talented students. The pity is that these students left the country for lucrative jobs and studies abroad. Only, a handful like Sam Petroda, have returned to serve the nation.

Now it is time to take a look at where the nation’s money should go for training the talented to serve the nation.

Here is a proposal that the HRD ministry and Knowledge Bank must study. This has been done in the larger interest of the country by a dedicated talented Engineer who returned early to serve the nation.

Future Scholars must be trained from 13th grade on at various institutes of National Importance like BARC, ISRO, NPL, DRDO etc..

These scholars are selected with a special examination like JEE. They are assimilated as Apprentices in these institutions. They do both studies and research at the same time. They will take about 8 years to complete their Ph.D’s. By that time they are already nation’s servants with a job and experience. They will continue life long as scientists. 

They are being coached by the Gurukul system where earning and studying is simultaneous. They are trained under great scholars of proven value who know what is needed to train them. They will have international facilities right from the start which no university in the world provides. They are working on cutting edge technologies from the start. They will not think of leaving the country. They pay no fees and hence be deeply indebted to the country for the opportunity. This will automatically attract the best and sincere.

Had this process been used, Indian Engineers would have been working for ISRO instead of NASA. The same process can be used for training talented nation builders in manufacturing.  They would be taken as apprentices in nations big projects such as SAIL, NTPC, HAL, HMT, BEL etc.. They have an assured job which they will continue after their degrees by the Gurukul system. Students pay no fees. Their 3 to 4 days of work is sufficient to pay for their fees, boarding and lodging. 

IIT’s can not be given free as they do not have manufacturing facilities. We must convert all our manufacturing units as universities. This will reduce production costs and experienced hands are made available not just theoreticians. Big industries like TELCO, TISCO, Leyland’s, Escorts, TVS etc also must be made into deemed universities. They will take the next level of scholars who are needed in production more than research. A research wing must also be attached to these centers of production as well as teaching staff who are also shop supervisors.

  - By Guruji Shri Rishi Prabhakar

Hyperactive Children

A lot of Parents, in fact I would say most Parents are so concerned about their child that they use the term "hyperactive" so very casually to describe their children. "My child is very hyperactive", is a refrain we hear ever so often.

Actually the first step is to stop referring to the child as 'hyperactive' even if the child is hyperactive or 'so called hyperactive'. We never use the word 'hyperactive'. We use the word 'playful'. The moment we label the child 'hyperactive', that aspect of the child's personality starts rising to the fore more and more. But when you say a child is playful, you suddenly see the child in a different perspective and his playfulness appears and doesn't fall within the category of 'hyper-activism'. 

The child is now seen as one with a tremendous amount of energy. These very playful children just cannot sit in one place; they are jumping all the time. What do we do with such children? But before we study that, let us look at the probable cause of this high energy level or so called 'hyper-activism' in children.

We don't have to go too far for answers. We just have to look at the Parents first. There is a high probability of either one or both Parents being disturbed, anxious, agitated or irritated. There could be a tremendous disturbance in the mother-father relationship, which could have had a bearing on the child's behaviour. When the Parents themselves are not relaxed or at least one of them is not relaxed, then their behaviour will definitely affect the child.

So the easiest way is to harmonize the relationship between the mother and the father and relax their own environment, and automatically we will see a tremendous difference in the child. Coming back to an existing situation where your child is already displaying so-called 'hyper activism', what do you do?

First things first, such children require tremendous amount of physical activity to burn up their extra energy. So they need to be taken outdoors, to parks, beaches where the Parent or both Parents play rough and tough games, which involve a great deal of physical activity like running, jumping, swimming etc. Don't send the child out with the maid; do it yourself. Such children need a huge amount of play outdoors, anything that will tire them out. Once they are tired out, introduce them to music/musical instrument to channelize their energies.

The Parent or both Parents thus need to spend a lot of time with their child to help expend and direct his/her physical energy. In case of an extreme situation where things have really gone out of hand, medical assistance can be sought. But in most cases Parents altering their own behaviour, and directing and channelizing their child's physical energies through sport can sort matters out.

                           - By Manoj Lekhi (Key Disciple of Guruji Rishi Prabhakar ji)

Does Your Child Watch Too Much TV?

There was a time when homework was given first priority, and everything else followed. However, nowadays it seems that the only time children do their homework is when nothing good is coming on television or of course, when parents hang the Damocles' sword on their head. Television is affecting sleep, studies, mealtimes. If your child's favorite programme is on, she will only go to bed when it gets over. The 'trash' that might affect young, impressionable minds gives parents sleepless nights. So how would you tackle this problem?

1. Make it a Family Decision

If you tell your child "No watching television after 9:30 at night," you can be sure that's one rule that's not going to be adhered to. You should involve your child in the decision as well. Have a family meeting and say "There's a problem. How are 'we' going to solve it?"

2. Choices

Give your child the choice of programmes and timings. Sit with her while she makes a study plan and tell her that this plan will have to be adhered to. Let her choose for herself when she wants to study and when she wants to watch television. You will, however, have to hold her to it. The minute you slack off, so will your child.

3. Let Children Think for Themselves

Don't impose your opinions. Tease them into expressing their own. Ask them who they thought the 'bad guy' was, and why. There is an inbuilt moral lesson to be learn from most programmes, the bad guy never wins. Turn this to your advantage. Ask your children if they think it's fun to beat up someone, and what they thought was right and wrong.

4. A Critical Eye

While watching a movie you could pass comments on how unbelievable and unrealistic certain aspects of the plot are and you'll find plenty such aspects when watching a Hindi movie! This will help your children develop a critical eye and spot an absurdity when they come across it.

5. Educational Programs

Encourage your children to watch educational programs on television. They would only be interested in watching Discovery Channel and the like if you inculcate an interest in such channels. If a programme on bees is coming up, you could give your children some fascinating facts, perhaps show them a book or article on bees. This will build their interest.

6. Cartoons

Get your children a coloring book of their favorite cartoon characters. Encourage them to sketch these favorite characters. You never know what undiscovered creative talents are hiding behind their mischievous exteriors. The television need not be such an enemy if you know how to cope with it, and use it to your advantage.

Art As An Experience For Child

Art for most of us is the physical act of drawing and painting. On stretching our viewpoint beyond we will realize that it is much more. Art is an experience, an expression of one's inner self.

Most of us in our schools have been conditioned to a particular way of art. As a part of the ISP(Infant SSY Programme) course we have asked a number of Parents on several different occasions to draw 'a beautiful picture'. 95% of them have always drawn a similar picture comprising of mountains (having pointed peaks), the sun rising from between them (typically with alternating big and small rays), birds flying (drawn as the alphabet 'r'), a river flowing (from between two mountains), trees (more often coconut trees), some ducks or fish in the water. We were shocked to notice such a striking resemblance in most pictures.

The culprit here is our education system and the fact that we have all been trained to think in the same way. The art within us has thus died down making us more mechanical than expressive. In a similar manner when dealing with a child, 'expression painting' must score over 'object painting'. What we can do is give the child (even as young as 1 or 2 years) a blank sheet of paper whenever possible and ask him to draw on it, his feelings about a particular thing, situation or event. The smaller the child the bigger should be the paper.

As the child grows older he will be able to point on the paper and tell us what he has drawn. At this vital point of time it is very important for us Parents to remember not to discourage the child by correcting his drawings, passing remarks or giving suggestions. The visual effect of the drawing is immaterial, what he has expressed is only what matters.

In our curriculum the children are now well accustomed to this form of art and they come up with the most beautiful imaginations. Maximum possible right brain development is thus made possible giving the child an incredible opportunity to become more creative and artistic in the real sense of the words.

It is also very important that the child learns to differentiate between various shades of the same color such as scarlet red, crimson red etc. or turquoise blue, peacock blue etc. In order that this becomes possible expose your child to a range of colors at a very early age rather than only the 12 common colors obtained in every crayon box. We don't limit a child to coloring within boundaries. This activity creates unimaginable strain on him and brings in him a sense of tremendous binding.

Allow him to be free and color with crayons, in a manner suitable to him. Always remember that the child should be stress free and joyful. Freedom within will inevitably reflect freedom without. Coloring within boundaries will come to him naturally with age. So do not waste precious time and effort in teaching him the most obvious.

To develop the child's expression in art, I recommend that you keep one wall in your house free just for the child to freely paint or scribble. In each house there should be a wall painted black, serving as a black board too. 

                           

 - By Manoj Lekhi (Key Disciple of Guruji Rishi Prabhakar ji)  

Positive Parenting Techniques

Positive parenting techniques will help to build your child's self esteem and therefore build a strong foundation to their life. Here are a few practical ideas to help make your parenting more positive.

1.Set a Good Example

It is vital that we set a good example to our kids. They learn behaviour by copying the adults around them, especially their parents and carers, so we need to behave as we want them to behave.

2.Understand Your Child's Personality

It may be that you will need to modify your approach according to the personality of your child. Different types of personality will need different approaches. For example and child with a strong personality and very self-confident will need a different approach to the shy and timid child.

3.What's The Root Cause

Another of the great positive parenting techniques is to have an understanding of the root causes of common unwanted behaviors. It may be that certain behaviors are just a normal part of that stage of development, or it may be that there is something upsetting the child that is causing him to behave that way.

4.Give Time For Free Play

Free, child directed play is great for kids to be able to develop in so many areas. It helps them in their social development, negotiating with their friends in what and how to play. It helps them in their physical development, being active and using their bodies. It helps them in their emotional and cognitive development, they act out circumstances in their lives as a way of thinking through and understanding them.

Food And Your Child

When your child is small, one thing that most Parents are almost paranoid about is his diet or the food he eats. They are forever worried whether their child is eating enough, even if the child is eating well. Or whether the child is eating too much for his age!

Personally speaking, we haven't worried about our child's food. In the first place, we never got worried about the hygiene aspect, in the sense that if she dropped something she was eating and picked it up and put it in her mouth, it didn't worry us unduly. Our child has probably picked everything off the ground and eaten. I have always allowed it unless it was something, which could be poisonous. I never bothered about germs, because I know that the body automatically takes care of some germs that enter the body thus, making the body's immune system that much stronger.

When you are pregnant you must have lots of fruit so that you inculcate 'fruit-habit' in your child from that time itself. It's important for the mother and child to have fresh vegetables, fruits and nuts.

The quantity of food a child may eat depends upon his individuality and is different for each child. One needn't unnecessarily worry about the quantity the baby eats especially if he shows an optimum energy level. If your child has a medium to high energy level, is very bright and playful then there is no need to worry about any other parameters like his weight, height etc. As long as the child is healthy, strong and energetic, the child is eating well. But however, there is a cause for concern when your child is dull, listless and lacking in energy. Then you need to take some action (may be show him to a Doctor).

Another thing that worries most Parents is 'junk-food'. They are most upset when their child eats pre-packed potato chips, chocolates, sweets, ice creams etc. I would say that it's not such a bad idea to allow the child to have these in controlled, limited quantities every day, like a sweet or a piece of chocolate everyday than to suppress his craving, which may compel him do it on the sly, behind your back.

If your child is at an age where he has started understanding the days of the week, Monday to Sunday, then you can easily set up a timetable for him to fit-in such 'junk food', something different each day. Junk food is not all that bad. For generations we have all eaten some form or the other of junk food. So don't cut it out totally and immediately from your child's food-schedule. In fact, I would say a little bit of junk food is healthy food.

                            - By Manoj Lekhi (Key Disciple of Guruji Rishi Prabhakar ji)

Children's Social Skills

1. Be Polite and Kind

When children's are kind, courteous, and respectful, people enjoy being around them and reciprocate with the same behavior. Be polite to your child. If your child hands you something, say "thank you" to him. If you ask your child to do something, always preface it with a "please". Practice saying "please" and "thank you" with your child from a very young age. Those two simple terms will become a way of speaking for him. Manners need to be taught and teaching your children manners gives them "lifelong survival skills". For kids to develop values that essential to being courteous, they need to see those same qualities in people whom they respect, parents have the power to exert powerful positive influences.

2.  Join In and Play

It's fun to make friends and play with others, but it's not always easy to do. You have to make an effort, and you have to know the rules like ask before joining in, take turns, play fair, and be a good sport. Games help children experience how to lose, how to win and playing games with friends and parents gives them the support they need to still be willing to try again. Children who play with their parents develop broader social skills, especially when they play in a positive and peer-like manner. Children who play socially with same-age peers are at an advantage when they enter daycare and preschool. These advantages are increased when children maintain these social-relationships over the long term, thus making good friends.

3. Listen And Learn

The first few years of a child's life are key to the development of speech, language and cognitive skills. For this reason it is important to create activities and strategies that give them all the stimulation, positive role modeling and human contact that they need. For a normally developing child learning is easy and creating opportunities for learning is also not difficult. Through play and simple daily interactions and experiences we can help the child acquire new language and skills. Knowing how to listen is essential to learning, growing, and getting along with others. Simple words and inviting illustrations help children develop listening skills, understand why it's important to listen, and recognize the positive results of listening.

4. Respect and Take Care of Things

Everything has a place. Things last longer when we take care of them. Respect, responsibility, and stewardship are concepts that even young children can relate to because they have things they value. When children are first beginning to help out around the house it is important to focus on their effort, not how well the task is completed. Encourage the children's to pick up after themselves, put things back where they belong, ask permission to use things that don't belong to them. Kids can do a lot of chores at an early stage, including getting clothes to the laundry or cleaning up after dinner, put toys away, fill pet's food dish, put clothes in hamper, wipe up spills, pile books and magazines. 

Be An Active Parent

Being an active parent in your children's lives is extremely important because it helps teach them and shape them into the adults that they will sometimes be. Being an active parent doesn't have to feel like parenting. You can actually make parenting fun and follow this ways to do just that. 

1. Outdoor Activities

Doing outdoor activities with your children such as playing basketball, cricket, kickball, tennis, or football is being active with your children. If you and your children are not into sports, you could always go hiking, fishing, canoeing, bike riding or swimming. If you are looking for simple outdoor activities to do as a family try going for a picnic and playing at the park a few times a week.

2. Board Games

Get children away from those video games and play some fun board games with them at the dinning room table. Heck, even add some munching snacks along with game time. It is sure fine way of being active in your children's lives and having a bit of fun with them too.

3. Baking

Baking cookies, breads, pies, or pizzas can be fun for you and your children to do together. In addition, it helps them learn how to measure out things with measuring cups and how to bake. Eventually, all children do need some real life skills for when they are all grown up.

4. Chores

Now I know you think chores don't sound like a fun way of being an active parent, but taking the time out of the day as a family to clean up the house is one way of being an active family. It also helps teach your children responsibility and home to take care of their belongings.

5. Family Date Night

You and the family should pick one night out of the month or week to go out for a night on the town to grab some food and do some fun activities such as bowling, roller skating, or going to see a movie at a theater, It a great way to spend time with the family out of the house.

          Good Parenting Skills Can Be Learned

1. Availability

Be available for your child. Yes, these are hectic and busy times, but you should never be too busy for your child, especially when they need you. Do not only be available when they say they need you, because chances are high that they will not come right and say that. Offer yourself to them and let them know that you are available to them. Let them know that they are important to you, as they should be. Dedicate a reasonable amount of your time each day to spending it with them. That might even be just watching their favorite TV program with them or reading them a book or going for a short walk with them.

2. Appreciation

The most powerful drive towards good behavior in children is in being appreciated. When a child does well at something, express your appreciation for them. When they do something nice for you, show your appreciation for that. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and children are especially sensitive to this. Appreciation also helps them make that maturing determination of what is right and what is wrong, based on how appreciated they feel. The more you appreciate their good deeds, the more their behavior will be in line with what you want and expect.

3. Affection

All of us wants to be loved, especially children. They are constantly searching for ways in which they can be loved by you. You are their focal point and they want to please you by their very nature. You need to be aware that love is the basis and foundation of a lasting relationship.

4. Acceptance

Everyone wants to be accepted and children are no different. You should go out of your way to show they unconditional acceptance. This provides them with a level of self-worth and helps to keep their self-esteem level high. It also gives them a sense of security in the act of acceptance. If you as their parent cannot accept them, then nobody else will either, and they realize this.

Increase Your Child's Memory

 

                                    

All of us Parents wants our child to be intelligent and have amazing amount of memory but what do we do to make this possible? A tremendous insight will happen regarding memory if we were to understand exactly why and how does memory increase. 

Whatever you learn, at first it goes into your sensory memory, where it stays for about a few seconds to a few hours. Depending upon how you relate to the information, it travels into your short-term memory, where it stays from about a few hours to a few days and then into your long-term memory where it remains for life. Presently we shall talk only about the long-term memory.

A given piece of information will pass from our short-term memory into our long-term memory if we are able to either associate it with something more obvious or if the piece of information by itself is very outstanding or if the information is repeated on us again and again. 

Thus, the three main steps to convert anything into long-term memory are:

1. Association

It happens when we link information with certain things that we find easier to remember. For e.g. we often link the names of the nine planets, in their particular order, to a statement which goes 'My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets', where the first alphabet of each word denotes the names of the planets which are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto respectively. Similarly, the colors of the rainbow are abbreviated as 'VIBGYOR' to help us remember their exact order of sequence.

2. Outstanding

Outstanding is something which is strikingly different or beyond the normal. Such a piece of information automatically creates a niche in your brain thus allowing you to remember it for life. For e.g. those of us who experienced it, will never forget the rainfall in Mumbai on 26th July 2005. Personally I will never forget an almost fatal fall I had from a cliff or a similar fall I had from a boat into the water. Such outstanding things remain engraved in our life forever and go deep down into the long-term memory like when - Earthquakes, Bomb Explosions are always remembered along with exciting cricket matches which have a photo - finish - India winning the 1983 world cup or 2011 world cup.

3. Repetition 

Repetition is the revision of a particular topic at regular intervals. This is the base of academic learning and involves a very systematic approach for 100 % effectiveness. Whatever your child learns should be reaffirmed after the first 10 minutes, then after 24 hours or 1 day, then after a week, subsequent to that, after 1 month and finally after about 3 months to 6 months. This will ensure that the particular information gets embedded into his long-term memory guaranteeing excellent results.

- By Manoj Lekhi